I feel so tired... tired of waiting to finish up the assignments, tired of taking care of things, tired of everything around me.. I just want to hug him and go have fun with him now... His work shift today is 9 to 2 only, I wish i can go see him... I wish i can go have a movie with him... It is an opportunity to be with him. Like Yun say, i should appreciate opportunity to have time go pak toh with him. She say i should go pak toh whenever i can if i have the time. Haih... If can who dont want woh... But i feel bad if i dont help out for the deco and go out with him, yes i will be happy because i will be with him, but when i go back to college, what will happen? haih... Can't tahan the pressure la... I don't want to be like this... Can the plan suddenlly change ar? or can he have time to teman me tomorrow? i really want to see him la... haih...

爱哭鬼

我爱哭 大声的哭
你在身边我敢放肆的哭
电影感人 听情歌 我都会哭

我爱哭 偷偷的哭
你清楚却伤我那麼离谱
几句话语 我的泪 却止不住

你说分手时候 彷佛早就想清楚
留我一个躲在角落 来不及哭 只能傻住

我是爱哭鬼 我想哭掉对你的思念
看著镜子里面没志气的脸 然後越哭越後悔
我是爱哭鬼 我想哭掉对你的依恋
我也知道自己 这样子不对
却还越哭越认真的 为谁

我不哭 我不敢哭
哭只会让视线变的模糊
视线模糊 记忆却会更清楚

你说分手时候 彷佛早就想清楚留
我一个躲在角落 来不及哭 只能傻住

我是爱哭鬼 我想哭掉对你的思念
看著镜子里面没志气的脸 然後越哭越後悔
我是爱哭鬼 我想哭掉对你的依恋
我也知道自己 这样子不对
却还越哭越认真的 可悲

I cried twice today... Haha... Nervouse breakdown... I cried quite long time for the second time... Cried on the phone, cried to him... Luckily he did not just hang up the phone... haha... He stay there to accompanied me, he knows that im under pressure. He also knows that I need him... Im glad he is here... Can't imagine if he is far far away from me, really can't live without him. What will my life be if I'm without him? Some will say it will be the same, but for me, i say it won't. Without him, i will not be going out so often; Without him, i will be lonely at home; Without him, i will have nothing to look forward for in the future besides studies; without him, i wll be doing all those things my own, with no one to comfort and no one to accompanied. Maybe some of you will say that i still have friends. But again, friends might not be the same as a boyfriend. I love you, hubby... Love you very much... Thank you for accepting me once again. Thank you for loving me although you won't say i love you to me. Thank you for forgiving me for all my mistakes and rudeness.. Thank you for being so caring. Thank you for being so patient to me. Thank you for your willingness on walking the same path as mine... Thank you... Muaks....

天天夜夜 F.I.R.

〔L〕How do I live without you
〔F〕I want to know
〔L〕How do I breathe without you
〔F〕If you ever go
〔L〕How do I ever
〔合〕ever survive
How do I
　　 how do I
　　 Oh how do I live
〔R〕当你的泪在微笑中滑落
　　 回忆的风　吹(催)著我走　我却情愿停留
〔F〕等一颗心的时间的尽头　呼吸也会痛
〔合〕可是我记得　你给我的梦
〔F〕每一天在你的怀里等待
〔R〕每一夜我感觉你的存在 走过伤害　
〔F〕我回头看
〔合〕是永远都灿烂的爱
〔F〕这一次我决定勇敢去爱
〔R〕这一次我陪你看到未来
〔F〕so How do I live
〔R〕How do I live
〔合〕How do I live Without you
〔R〕当时间都已忘我的时候你的一切 对我来说 紧握才能拥有
〔F〕我明白一份真爱的背后藏着苦和忧
〔合〕心痛的时候 更深刻感受
〔L〕Oh tell me now

How come you just leave then i miss you already? I feel like crying these few days... Is it because of pressure and stress? Or I'm very moody??? But what cause the moodiness? Haih... Scare... Assignments to finish, can i finish on time? Bf bugging me to help him level up his game.... lol... But i still have assignments to finish up... Aiyo.... how ar??? Haih... Front office, F&B, English... German test some more on monday... then got H&T night somemore... haih.. and Im broke now... Miss him... Missing him... Missing missing him..... :'(

ARGH!!!! Assignments!!!!!

Haih... I afraid i cant finish the assignments on time la... Having alot of pressure now... i wan to just go have fun and forget bout the assignments, but, cannot......
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..... Anyone can help me ar? Im going to burst la............. i wan to go genting, but no one teman me.. I wan to go have fun, but somewhere in my heart will feel guilty because assignments not finish....

I sat in front of the laptop for the whole afternoon but the end result is very little onli... It sucks man... I hate doing things like this... Continue like that i will sure stress to death dy.... If u saw the headlines writing a teenage gal jump down from a condominium, it will be me.... lol....

Haih... now can only gambateh la... hope he is with me....

Don't know why, I feel like crying... I want to cry today... Really don't know why... But he is not here to comfort me... I miss him... I want to see him... Haih... Talking nonsense again... Wake up girl...

On Sunday night, i have a quarrel with him... A stupid quarrel with no conclusion... Haih... Everytime quarrel with him will be like this... But im glad that we are back to normal after that quarrel, or maybe, the serious problem has not occured yet. I was crying at that night, and i was afraid to fall asleep because i fear there might be a bad news the next day. That night, he refuse to reply my messages and off his phone and he say we only talk on the next day. That is why i am so afraid. I afraid i might just lose him. I did not have a good night sleep... The next morning i message him with fear and hoping that he reply my message, but he didnt. I was very upset till i call him and he talk to me... Luckily... I was relief but still the fear has not pass... I wanted to talk bout it but then i scare we will end up to the same situation again. Haih... but i'm still glad that its over.

He is starting to work as a promoter again on Saturday, which means, no genting for me, no teman-temaning for me also... haih... but to him suprise, i think, i did not get angry nor sad... i just accept it, that is because i already expected when i know he is going for the interview. But i still hope that he will find time to teman me la... Hehe..

Desire-ness and Money!!!!!

Desire and money make a lot of changes in making decisions. If you really desire to go a place and you don’t have enough money, you will just find all the ways to go to that place; but if you don’t feel like going to that place, even if you have money you will not go also. For example, going to a certain restaurant to have lunch, if you want to go, even if you know that if you go for that restaurant, you will be brook but you will still go because your desire-ness. In the other hand, if you don’t want to eat at that particular restaurant, even you have enough money you will still say you don’t want to go, and you might just come up with excuses.

But I still agree that money does affect on making decisions to go a place. If you really want to go a place but lack of budget, then you will postpone the plan you have and wait till you have enough money only you will go. But still, your desire-ness of going to that place will not decrease; it’s just only putting it aside. But if you really don’t like that place and don’t feel like going it, you will not going to think about it even though you have enough money.

The conclusion is, desire > money factor, nothing can stop you from doing something or going somewhere; but if money factor > desire, you will not think of it at all, even though your friends ask you to go, you will just find excuses to turn them away.

I went to fun fair yesterday and I do not have enough money to spent, rather than saying this, is actually I feel guilty to spent the money on those games because its too expensive. In the end, I left the place with unhappiness and unsatisfied. What to do? I’m limited budget and I feel guilty if I ask my bf to pay for all this because he needs the money for his studies. Haih… Hate this feeling very much… I want to work!!!! I want to earn money!!!! I want to release stress!!!!! Haih… Who can help me???

Yesterday, i was almost late... Suppose to go pick my bf up at 9 but i slept till 8.30... lucky i jump out from bed at that time... haha... no choice, so tired after 1 week exhausted at college... later, we went to eat dim sum as breakfast, 1st time ever... We got alot of 1st time yesterday... we wathced 2 movies in one day, oso the 1st time. He is very caring and lovely, the 1st time i ever felt this way... Now im so happily in love... And we are still going out today, after all the trouble we get from our frens yesterday... lol... But, im glad he is beside me. I was a bit out of my mind while sending him home because i was tired and frustrated. So i show a little bit temper at him, lucky he didnt angry.. He is so understanding... Hmm.. Talk bout understanding, it reminds me bout the english class we have on friday. Ms Tan was saying tat i need a understanding bf which i agree, and the gal look at me like im one kind, then i reply her, 'don't you want and understanding bf?' then she say i needed it more than anyone else... WT.... It'n none of her business ok? I don't really need her to understand me or what? She is just another passer by in my life... I'm not going to let her disturb my mind... Haha... Well, come back from that... Today, supposingly should be going to karaoke to sing, but then, haih... friends say its too expensive... So, plan might be changed... Well, no choice loh i guess, they dai sai want ma.... Haha... okla.. better go eat breakfast and bath, then can go out and see my dear dy... Tchuss...
Signing off... Michy aka Siao Siao...

Aargh!!!!! It's been 3 days I didn't go back home for dinner... I was at college - Cafe' 87 doing the decoration for Yun's theme... Haih... If everyweek like that i will be exhausted very very fast.... Actually, putting up the decoration is not that hard, clearing the deco is the worst part... Thanks to me, the paint i bought was not really soluble in water at all, so we have to scrub our ass off to get rid of the paint on the wall... Aargh!!!!!! WTF!!!! Using tinner and scrub 1 by 1 is not an easy job to do... I swear, i will never never do any decoration on the glass window anymore...

Although is hard work, but lecturers were still praising us for our effort... I'm proud of Yun, that she did not break down last minute; although some of the things went out of control... And, i'm proud of everyone that helped out to make bring this theme to success... Thanks to Ivan the Sous Chef, for giving 'SO' many ideas; thanks to Kenneth aka Kar Ming for using his social skill to find customers last minutel; thanks to Yun and the other classmates for my bossiness; And special thanks to the lecturers for being tolerate and helpfull to us whenever we need them... Thanks alot... Phew...

Dear is still being the same way, nothing special bout him... lol... but as the usual, i still miss him... haih... don't know when can see him...

Oh ya... Going to Kenneth aka Kar Ming's house this friday to celebrate the Lantern Festival at his house, the whole class is going, can't imagine the situation.... :P